A Few Years Apart, but Still the Same

I found myself randomly looking back on old blog entries from my time waiting for my Peace Corps invitation. A found a few hidden gems that I thought were worth resharing:

February 2011:
NEVER, ever let anyone get in the way of your dreams. Especially not a guy. If you have the opportunity to fulfill a life goal or dream, do it. Don’t let anything stand in the way of your happiness. People are important, but remember it’s your life. The best people will be there for you always, no matter where you are.

March 2011 – after I passed the FSOT for the first time:
Passing the FSOT has been a life-long dream of mine. I can still remember the very conversation that made me want to be a FSO. I remember what room it was in, what chair I was sitting in, everything. It was so many years ago…This is my year. This is the year that I accomplish my goals, that I establish that I am a strong, independent woman who never lets go of her dreams. This is the year that I prove success comes from hard work, dedication, ambition, and independence. Further proof that I don’t need a man to define me. I am who I am and I am damn proud of it.

August 2011 – right after I was invited to join Peace Corps, but before I knew which country I was going to:
The crazy emotions of the invite stage are starting to hit me.
Anxious for my actual Big Blue Envelope.
Nervous about my assignment.
Excited for everything that’s in store.
Overwhelmed with all the things I have to take care of.
Penny pinched for having to buy quite a few things – namely skirts, hiking backpack, and certain things I feel necessary for 2 years. aka shit I can’t live without. Plus a new laptop coming soon.
Sad about only having a few more weeks with my friends and my dog.
Really sad that I might never see some of my best friends again for many many years (even after I come back).
Terrible for leaving my dog (he is going to live with my dad).
Guilty for leaving my friends.
Nauseous because of the above.
Fat because I have taken it above myself to eat everything I love, multiple times a day.
Happy about the opportunity I have been given.
Hopeful about the difference I can make.
Grateful for showers, electricity, and flushing toilets.

 


A few years later and the same thoughts are racing through my head. This month, I will begin training in DC for my dream job. Just like my lead-up to Peace Corps, I’m nervous, excited, overwhelmed, and grateful all at the same time. I’ve worked tirelessly to achieve my goals. Now that I have made it over the hump, I am enjoying the experience of preparing for the future. I know I sound like a broken record, but Peace Corps taught me many important lessons, including: enjoy the moment. Packing can be stressful, but it doesn’t have to be. We all have a choice when it comes to how we frame our experiences. I am spending equal time packing and getting stuff together with reading FSO blogs. Everyday I wake up so excited to be alive and to be one day closer to DC. I can’t wait to meet my classmates. I can’t wait to learn. I can’t wait to be so exhausted from training that I pass out cold every night. I can’t wait to explore my new neighborhood. But until I get on that plane to DC, I am going to enjoy every moment I have left in Oklahoma. (Except for the terrible earthquakes – including the one that literally just hit right after I typed Oklahoma. The one two days ago originated 4 miles from the house and felt like being on a ride at Disney World.)

I feel like the luckiest person alive.

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