Starting Fresh

It looks like there might be light at the end of the tunnel! I’m crossing my fingers and hoping that things are partially resolved tomorrow. Or at least the start of a resolution. My first option fell apart in spectacular fashion (as things tend to do here), so now we are evaluating Plan B.

I had reservations about Plan B. There were a lot of factors that made me extremely hesitant, however at the end of the day I realized no challenge is insurmountable. A lot of my reservations were mental blocks that I set up myself. After a little mind pep talk, I realized I was being obstinate and honestly just scared. I was scared that I wasn’t strong enough to find work in a town so big. I was scared that I would be set adrift at sea, alone.

But I got over it. I realized my desire to succeed, to work, and to help the community is much greater than my fears. Where there is a will, there’s a way, right? It feels like joining the Peace Corps all over again, confronting the fears I should have had before joining. The fears I never actually thought of before now. Suddenly, I’m faced with starting over again and the excitement of something new isn’t as bright. The excitement was tarnished by the ticking clock ever present behind my shoulder.

But I got over it. I realized that to be a Peace Corps Volunteer is to be flexible. You need determination, drive, and the right attitude. It was like a heavy cloud hovering over me, forcing me to forget my constitution. But with a subtle nudge from my Country Director and a not so subtle nudge from my dear friend Emma, the cloud dissipated and I could see clearly again. I remembered why I joined Peace Corps, why I refuse to give up, and why I want to be here.

I joined Peace Corps to give back. I joined Peace Corps to share the little knowledge I have with someone who can benefit from it. I joined Peace Corps to learn how to be selfless. I want to be in Ghana. I want to be in Peace Corps. 2012 was one of the best years of my life, despite the ups and downs. I have seen a completely different side of the world and I love it. I have discovered that while my heritage is mainly American and European, my heart is African. I love the heart and soul of this continent. I love the attitude of Ghana (for the most part). I love eating with my hands. I love the smell of cashew flowers blooming half the year. I love buying food from a ladies head with my hand outside a tro window. I love shopping for fabric and going to the tailor. I love how it feels to be African.

This is why I didn’t give up. This is why I want to be here.

I will make the best out of my situation. I will find work to do. I will continue to teach farmers about recordkeeping and business literacy.

And I know I will be eating well, with access to banku and fufu, exotic vegetables, and pizza. Plus, I know exactly where my favorite batik lady sits.


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