I’ve stopped being bummed, sad, or otherwise upset at my whole housing debacle. The latest turn of events has put me straight back at absolute square one. I can’t help but just laugh. Honestly, this whole situation is funny. It is ridiculous and hilarious. Everything that goes wrong just adds to the comedy.
Here’s how I picture my life currently, try to imagine this:
A human pyramid that has 10 rows, but instead of humans they are monkeys. The monkeys don’t want to be in the pyramid, so they are swinging their arms at the monkeys beside them. One monkey in the middle falls down, but the pyramid still stands. Another monkey falls down, but this time they all start falling. But they don’t fall immediately, they fall slowly, all the monkeys are grabbing onto each other trying to stay up. They are scrambling around trying to stay in the pyramid, but they also don’t want to be there too.
That’s not a metaphor for my life, I just made that up. I just picture all these cute monkeys doing stupid things and falling down. It is just ridiculous. My life is ridiculous. Every time I think about it now I laugh, it is hard not to.
I have ZERO control over anything and I have finally accepted that. I get to answer the questions “so what is going on?” with “I have no earthly idea.” And it is kinda nice. I’m learning new things about myself and how to let go of my control issues. Despite the number of eye rolls I am doing a day, this situation is good.
There will be a solution at some point and I will accept it. I don’t have any other choice. I’m learning how to deal with the total unknown and uncertainty. I’m learning to let go and let the chips fall where they may. I did my best to control what I could, but honestly, you can’t control things like this. There is only so much running around in the background you can do. You can run interference, but you can’t promise that it will work.
Honestly, I’m doing okay. I’m doing fine. I was struggling before Christmas, but I’m doing so much better now. I truly am. Family, friends, extended Peace Corps family – I really appreciate all the support and love you have sent my way. But please do know, that I am doing well. I won’t turn down a care package full of brownie or cookie mixes though, that always does help!
So, I’ll just sit back, do what I can to keep busy, and laugh. I’ll laugh out loud and I’ll laugh hard. Maybe it will work like beating a boggart, if I laugh long and hard enough, all my problems will just explode and disappear.