Why I’m More Excited About My Restaurant Reservations Than My Safari

So here’s the deal. I am really freaking excited about my safari. But I’m slightly more excited about my restaurant reservations. Yes, a safari is a life long dream, but right now it doesn’t seem real. It doesn’t seem possible that I am actually going on safari, even though it has been booked for some time now. On the other hand, food is my weakness. I am a foodie. If I could give up everything to get a Travel Channel or Food Network show where I just eat and get paid for it, or hell if someone would just pay me to eat. I WOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND DO IT.

I love food. I love food more than a sane person should. I dream of cheese and chocolate. I drool over pictures of fantastical dinner plates. So, I just made reservations for two places in Cape Town. The Test Kitchen and Azure. I decided to indulge smallsmall and look at pictures and the menu for The Test Kitchen. I started crying. Tears of excitement and happiness started flowing down my face. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I wanted to. I was clapping my hands and ooing and aahing. I may or may not have uttered a few moans of gluttony. These restaurants are going to fulfill one of my other life goals – to eat an entire tasting menu. Okay, honestly just to eat at a restaurant with a tasting menu. 8 courses plus wine pairings! Is this is the real life? I could not be more excited about getting to indulge in a culinary adventure.

Nowadays I eat only two variations: something I scramble together for breakfast – which tends to involve bread and eggs. Lunch/Dinner is either tuna salad or bankou and groundnut soup. I have gotten pretty damn lazy to be honest and my love for bankou has only increased. So, why walk all the distance to town to get beans and rice or rice and chicken, when I can get a better deal and meal right down the street? For 2.50 I eat like a king and get some really freaking awesome chicken. And lately they have been dashing me hardcore. The last two times they gave me an extra 1.50 piece of chicken, that’s an extra drumstick! So I get a drumstick and a big chunk of thigh or breast meat. The chicken is succulent and an excellent source of protein. The soup is also a good source of my daily stuff – protein and oil, and probably vitamin E. The ball of bankou is about 50g of carbs and I honestly have no idea what carbs do except stick to your thighs, butt, and make you incredibly sleepy.

So, I eat tuna salad or bankou and groundnut soup on a rotating basis. Tell me that the best chef in South Africa creating an 8 course meal that consists of items such as: Pan seared duck breast and foie gras. Essence of duck and fragrant tea with turnip purée and fresh peanuts doesn’t sound like the greatest thing on earth. Or how about this: Frozen cashew and cinnamon parfait, hazelnut butter, hazelnut and olive oil cake with a saffron lassi foam and pineapple tarte tatin. I don’t even know what a tarte tatin is. And that makes me super excited. Sorry I saw the word cashew and it made me cry just a little more. My dear little cashews. Offer cashews and you are basically stealing my heart.

Offer a fantastic dinner with foods I can’t pronounce and you have the keys to my heart.


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