Evil Limbo

It is so exciting to see all the invites going out for October of this year. Unfortunately, I am only making my limbo worse by reading peacecorpsjournals. Every time I see another invite I think – when am I going to get mine? I heard from placement this week, why haven’t I got an invite. I have a lot of experience and education. Why not me? When is my turn? Are all the spots going to fill up again before I even get a chance this time?
Why won’t my placement officer just invite me? Why does she have to use the word “soon” – what does soon even mean. I assume soon means in the next 1-4 days. I honestly do believe that soon is the worst word ever invented. I want to start planning – why can’t I get an invite? What makes everyone else more special than me? Should I have put more on my resume about my education. Why can’t I just know how this whole placement business works? Why is it so secretive? I wish there was a dictionary for peace corps application – you could just look up the meaning of an email or a toolkit change.

Do I sound whiny? Yeah, well I feel like it. Sitting at work in a complete emotional limbo is miserable. I can’t concentrate.

Also, I can’t really talk to any of my friends about how I am feeling because:
1. My good friend moved away
2. My best friends here in town, refuse to talk to me about the Peace Corps. Two reasons: 1. they don’t want me to leave. 2. the husband is really really really against tax payers paying for the peace corps – jerk. anyway.
3. My dad just talks about how it is so dangerous and I will probably die.
4. My dog doesn’t talk back, but I feel bad telling him “mommy might leave you at some point”
5. Can’t tell my coworkers
6. My best friend lives in a different time zone. I don’t want to burden her when she has so much on her plate.
7. I don’t really have many more friends that I feel I could talk to.
8. My mom never lets me whine on the phone, so that’s out the window

GAH. I just wish I could know. I hate having to bottle up who I am, what I want to do. I haven’t been able to really tell anyone about this process since it started…in April 2010. That’s a really long time to not be able to discuss how you are feeling.

Thanks blog for letting me vent 🙂

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4 thoughts on “Evil Limbo

  1. As an Invitee awaiting Staging, I can certainly identify with your feelings as you go through the unlit tunnel of the application process. Clues are few, far between and often misleading. It was a complete 12 months from the time I submitted my application until I received my invitation. I received my invitation this past April and I will not depart for Staging until September (17 months after submitting my application). I also identify with your feelings regarding your resume and why you are not identified as competitive. In addition to my 40 years of licensed and certified professional experience, I have graduate and post graduate degrees. (If you are interested in my timeline, or any of my application experiences, go to: wwwDOTpalewDOTblogspotATgmailDOTcom).
    As for the obstacles to discussions with your friends and family which you enumerated, I have a strong response for #2 – part 2. I have been told similar comments and my response is that the Peace Corps is one of the programs we should support, because it has as one of its goals to reduce the dependence by other countries on foreign aid from America. Therefore, the Peace Corps will ultimately benefit not only the countries served, but help reduce the burden on American taxpayers by reducing the need for continually extending foreign aid expenses.
    Best wishes as you continue to wait.

    • Lew, thanks for the advice on the Peace Corps taxpayer thing. I really like your response. Next time my friend’s husband brings it up I will have ammo 🙂

  2. Hi there. I’m on the very same boat. I started my application back in March 2010. I missed my nomination for June 2011. So now I’m in limbo, waiting to hear from Placement. I didn’t like to discuss the Peace Corps w/ friends and family at first. I still don’t but it was like I told one person and then all of a sudden everybody knows. Thankfully, all of them have been supportive so far. Lately, I feel like I whine to my good friends about the Peace Corps at least once a week. It’s good to have a release. Blogging about it certainly helps. Just know that you’re not completely alone in this. Other people are going through the same thing. Anyway, I hope that we both hear from Placement soon about where we’re going (no bad news). Hang in there!

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