Definition: pure frustration experienced by people who have not yet received the big blue envelope. They take this frustration out by secretly despising anyone with an invite. Really, they are happy for all those people, but think: “wahhh, where is my invite?”
I have been medically cleared since March. It is so frustrating to feel like you keep getting swept further and further under the rug.
I emailed my placement specialist today, just as a friendly reminder that she said she would get back to me in a month.
In case you guys are wondering and haven’t seen it yet, they released the FY10 stats for where people went. It looks like quite a few countries that had business programs in FY09, no longer had anyone in FY10. The cuts for next year are going to be even more I bet.
Honestly, I am not complaining too much about waiting until next year. My job is amazing. How many times can you say you played trivia at work while wearing a Darth Vader mask? Then you were “forced” into using the Vader breathing sound over the intercom so everyone could hear.
I think right now my main anxiety is just simply not knowing anything. I would like to know a continent – if I need to start learning a language, I want to know. YARGH. Patience is a virtue, I know – but I am going on 16 months now since I first applied.
I hate having to keep this a secret from my coworkers too. I feel like I am living a double life. I want to be able to express my excitement, but honestly I don’t really have anyone to share with. I feel guilty telling my friends because they don’t want me to leave. My dad isn’t really sold on the idea yet. I can’t tell any of my coworkers because I don’t want them to think I don’t want to be there. It is just hard not having anyone to really share this application experience with (besides the internet). Sometimes I just want to vent and sit down with friends and talk it all out, but they really don’t want to hear anything about it.
I haven’t really told anyone on facebook either, for fear they might post something related to it and a coworker might see.
So, really I envy the people with invites because they can share their experience and excitement with friends. I am just stuck in weird limbo.