My life in text messages

Tiny little characters that reveal a wealth of information about life in the developing world. I’m going to randomly go through my phone and find some of the best, funniest, most ridiculous text messages I can find. Just to give you a small slice of life on the other side of the world.

Friend: “You rang?”
Me: “Just wanted validation/support for fabric shopping. :) I’m in the car already. I’ve got a problem.”

Me: “Holy shit my barclays banker just called me to tell me he has a new ATM card for me and happy bday. Dude!”
Friend: “That’s a golden nugget, right there!”

Me: “I made the mistake of lathering in shea butter, so I’m pretty much a sticky trap. It’s a trap!”
Me: “I wish I could kill these bugs with my glare. I have a great death glare. It works on cowering people, but the bugs seem immune.”
Friend: “I’m sure the bugs are cowering, but their tiny brains only allow for limited memory space. It might be worth two seconds, but just know that every two seconds they’re living in abject terror over and over again”

Me: “I just did the unthinkable. I took an anti diarrheal”

Friend: “SO MUCH SUGAR COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS”
Me: “I just ate so much garlic that my mouth is numb”

Me: “I got an actual wedding invitation today, American style and all. I have to go if they put that much effort into inviting me”
Friend: “Oh boy. Just another chance to look fabulous.”

Friend: “Omg, this car is fast and its scaring me! Going fast in America can be scary, but in ghana…that shit cray.”

Friend: “omg! I just had a dream about sam and mercedes and kurt sang a song together and beyonce and clare from modern family were in a made for tv Cinderella movie and sam wore a wig and when he took it off he looked like a little black boy. What does it mean?”

Me: “Seriously exciting crap. Dull is not a word in my vocabulary, ghanamosa now is.”

Ghanaian friend: “Alright dnt get sick.Rturnin moro though,gimme a call if u r der early”

Friend: “That’s truly disturbing. But im glad you had fun!”
Me: “It was like Peace Corps magic mike.”

Me: “More meetings! Oh yeah you are visiting the gay guys. I’m so gonna run out of vaj though”
Me: “Cash not vaj”

Me: “I’ve found that when I’m sad and depressed, I like to look fabulous. I may still be sad, but hey at least I look fabulous.”

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